DEALING WITH ANGER

Anger is such a dangerous emotion, it destroys families, tears people apart and is mostly always followed by consequences. I’ve lived with anger before in the past, it was a big part of my twenties, it ruined me in so many ways, I became unhealthy, developed epilepsy, was always frustrated, I rode a rollercoaster of negative emotions. Ironically at one point in my twenties I was so sad and depressed that I welcomed anger into my life. I felt like an emotionless zombie, I felt nothing, not happiness or pride, I couldn’t even remember what it felt like to laugh, even when something good happened in my life I still felt emotionless. Anger on the other hand, that I felt, in fact it was one of the few things that made me feel alive. Then I got better, life got easier and my anger disappeared, it was a normal emotion before, now when I feel angry it’s strange, it feels more like a memory than an emotion, a reminder of what anger feels like. I do feel much better health wise now, no chest pains, no aches and pains, my body no longer as tense as it once was and best yet, no mental torture. The situation that makes you angry, that cannot be controlled, how long you let that anger control you afterwards, that’s up to you.

Avoiding angry situations is not easy but working on not letting the anger actually affect you, that’s all in the mind, control your mind, control your emotions. You’ll still feel them but if you can control them, you can determine how long the emotion, in this case anger, will take over your body but mostly your mind. After a lot of practise, I’ve learned how to somewhat not let the angry emotion take over. Situations still anger me but I realized that getting angry about it does nothing, yes fix the problem, but don’t dwell on it. Different angry situations require their own unique way of dealing with that anger. If its anger being received short term or momentarily, it’s easier to put it to one side, if its anger being absorbed by situations one could consider long term and in process, that’s much harder to tackle. An angry situation that is considered long term needs two solutions, one for the actual problem, the second for the way the mind allows that anger to control it. Always speak to someone about your problems, especially the ones that make you angry and sad. Talking about them won’t remove those negative emotions completely, but it does help the mind not dwell on it, when the situation is expressed through words. Speaking to a psychologist, a parent, a friend, get someone else’s perspective from the outside, not just the perspective you have inside your mind. Talk about it and always use someone to balance your thoughts with, because when emotions are not high, it is easier to think clearly, meaning that other person has a lot to offer, only because they’re not as personally effected in mind by the situation as you might be.

Luckily for myself, I have always been able to control my anger, sadly because I controlled it, to a degree, it played a factor in the introduction of my epileptic seizures at the age of twenty-five. I held so much anger inside of me and I never once released it, I should have, I think had I done so, I could have avoided a lot of health issues and especially unnecessary mental torture. I was in a situation where the people trying to make me angry wanted me to break, they wanted me to shout and lash out at them, in the hopes of considering that a win for them. I knew this and because of them I always controlled my anger and as good as it is to control it, at the same time you must learn to release it some other way. Anger eats up inside of you, eventually it will make you ill or cause you to lash out to a point of regret, always try and control your emotions, when it comes to anger, you decide when to release it, not the other way around. My dad actually installed a punching bag for me in my house, hoping it would help me relieve my frustration but I never really used it much. I wish I had, it’s actually a very helpful tool, release that anger in a safe situation. When you’re angry it’s important to punch, but punching a bag has a lot less consequences than punching a person.

“Just forget about it” is the usual response many give when someone is angry, that’s difficult to do, you can’t really control the anger itself. What you can control is dwelling on it, constantly thinking about it. For example, if someone insults you and then walks away, don’t spend the entire day letting their words mess with your feelings. Humans are very important to each other; we absorb and release energy with almost everyone we come in contact with. The most common method of energy transfer between people is by the words we use, exchanged words then alter thoughts which plays with emotions. If nasty words are spoken to someone in a foreign language it will have no effect on them, spoken in their language, will alter their emotions. The anger, the disappointment, the sadness, it’s all there, how long you decide to stay thinking about it instead of altering your thoughts with a different activity or happier memory, that part is in our control.

Currently there are a few situations which are happening at the moment and within the last few years that does anger me but I am not angry. Sometimes confrontations must be had but until they are had, why dwell on them? I’ve been able to find the pause button in my brain, it took me a very long time and the only reason I tried to achieve this was because I wanted to be in control of my thought process during my epileptic seizures. Being able to find the pause button in your mind, for situations that can’t be dealt with at the moment is very helpful, especially when It comes to angry thoughts. In the moment an angry feeling cannot be controlled but after a while, it’s up to you to decide how much you’re going to let that negative thought roam around your brain before you decide to replace it with a positive one. Don’t just ignore the anger, release it safely and deal with the situation calmly if something needs to be fixed. Anger, depression, anxiety, self-loathing, negative emotions, the worse thing to exist within the human mind. Granted if someone punches you, that hurts your body, but if someone throws nasty words at you, if someone tries to belittle you, those words aren’t hurting your body, they hurt your mind, which then in return hurts your body in the long run. Always try and release your negative emotions, either by venting, punching bag, meditating, any safe way that works for you. What I’d consider most import is to release those negative emotions on your terms, not when you might most regret it afterwards.

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